Saturday, 4 February 2012

10 Reasons to ban the IPL

I write this note/post/rant as we lose our position as the no.1 test team in the world. Twitter Timelines and Facebook Feeds are full of sad faces. Meanwhile, Vaseline pwns Vaughn and Bell's recall raises some questions about The Spirit of the Game.

Questions are raised as to whether we deserved to be the no. 1 test team, in the first place. Talk to the hand, bro. I like the no. 1 rank.

I like sports. I love cricket. I am no expert but I do hold an opinion. The IPL is a terrible tournament. Why? Here goes:

1. BOLLYWOOD MEETS CRICKET: I do not want Bollywood to meet cricket. It makes no sense. This is an annoying statement and a horrendous idea. Leave my cricket alone. Infact, keep Bollywood as far away from Cricket, as possible.

2. INJURIES: Why are we making the Indian Cricket Team play like a bunch of show-dogs? This isn't just a complaint about the IPL, but with the BCCI schedule for the rest of the year too. Check this link below to get an idea of how much more cricket India plays compared to other teams. Do we really expect the Indian team to play world-class cricket all year round? They will falter. And there will be 4-0 whitewashes.

http://www.itsonlycricket.com/entry/2011/ (A comparative)


India cricket schedule 2011.
MonthTours/tournaments/matchesFull fixtures
JanuaryIndia tour of South Africa, 3 tests, 5 ODI, 2 T20Ind in SA 2011
Feb-MarchCricket world cup 2011 in Asia, ODI tournamentWorld Cup 2011
April-MayIndian Premier League 2011 (not international)IPL 2011
June-JulyIndia tour of West Indies, 3 tests, 5 ODI, 1 T20Ind in WI 2011
July-SeptIndia tour of England, 4 tests, 5 ODI, 1 T20Ind in Eng 2011
OctoberEngland tour of India, 5 ODIs, 1 T20Eng in Ind 2011
NovemberWest Indies tour of India, 3 tests, 3-5 ODIsWI in Ind 2011
DecemberIndia tour of Australia, 4 tests, 2 T20 + TriseriesInd in Aus 2011


This was India's schedule for the year 2011.

3. SHIBANI DANDEKAR: Who are these Dandekar sisters and why are we letting more of them on primetime TV? Wasn't one shrill host raping our ears on MTV enough? Are they the reason for Australians beating up Indians all the time? Extremely worried for the future of this nation. The quality of anchoring leaves the viewers dumbfounded. If he is the owner of Deccan Chargers, I'm assuming he's supporting them. Don't ask that question. Okay? okay.

4. CONFUSION: What do I do when Mahendra Singh Dhoni (Love of my life) stumps Sachin Tendulkar (God)? Grin? Am I supporting Delhi or Punjab when my favourite player is playing for Chennai SuperKings?  Do I support a different team every match/ innings? Yes. Do I give a damn? No. Stop confusing me. Shutup.

5. JERSEYS: Its sports. I don't care how much money you have, Sir, I want my sportsman to NOT look like a bollywood backup dancer. Gold, Purple, Silver uniforms belong to strippers, not cricketers.

6. MONEY: The IPL is to Indian Sports, what Antilla is to Mumbai: A gold-encrusted eyesore in the centre of a colossal, decaying slum. Most Indian sportsmen can't afford two square meals. Meanwhile, at the IPL auctions we witness failed Bollywood actresses with 3000 carat diamonds & no brains, throwing away millions at 11 cricketers. Enough money to feed any another sport for an entire year.

7. TEAM MANAGEMENT: Who are these people? Coke stuffed Industrialists and their supermodel girlfriends do not qualify as team management. Take for example the Delhi Daredevils auction (2011). What was that? Were they choosing a team or making a guest list for a Boys' night out B.Y.O.B. party?

8. IPL NIGHTS: Excuse me? Let's get the sportsmen dead drunk till the wee hours of the morning, fly them out and then make them play a match that evening? Yes, because fitness and lifestyle is a whackass joke for the IPL.

9. TEAM NAMES: Its like an 11 year old has been given a puppy and decides to call it Captain Robusto Tailwagger. A little thought before you start coming up with ridiculous names like Kolkata KnightRiders, Kochi Tuskers, Deccan Chargers, Mumbai Indians? Name your Item girls what you wish. Lets keep in mind that this is apparently International Sports not a Chikni Chameli stint between your releases.

10. CHEERLEADERS: I like the whole cheerleading concept. Please let them dress and behave accordingly. Q. What is a cheerleader in a saree? Ans. Your mom.

I hereby boycott the damned tournament.

Adieu.


2 comments:

  1. First of all I would like to congratulate you for writing such a nice topic. India is now known universally as a cricket crazy nation. After half a century of independence some million Indians are going to bed in empty stomach. More and more people are adding in the list of below poverty line. We are lagging in the basic amenities in our day to day life. The life in the rural India is disgusting. The list goes on .... Why I am pointing these silly matters in these topic related to cricket or IPL is that some business people are making fools to some million Indians every year. We are more interested to discuss this nonsense game and spend our valuable time which can be utilized in some better way. Some people are advocating to give the Bharat ratna award to Mr Sachin Tendulkar. Some are advocating for Amitabh Bachaan. I am not able to understand in what way these person contributed for the nation so that they should awarded the highest civilian award of this country. We don't have any respect for the scientists who are devoting their whole life period for the development of the society. The farmers, the industrial workers, the entrepreneurs, the social thinkers who are trying their level best to provide some relief to the pains of common people are not getting a single person to advocate on behalf of them. As a responsible citizen of this country we all should support for banning of this IPL which is in no way a sport.

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  2. Thank you for taking out time to read and comment. I really appreciate your input :)

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