Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Reverse chauvinism

This is something I submitted to Thought Catalog a month back but since they haven't used it, Its still good enough for my blog. I studied English Literature & the course contained a lot of feminist content, which actually made me question modern feminism, rather than convert me. So here goes: 


Needless to say, the second sex may have fought a long, hard battle to gain the same rights as men, but every scream of feminism in today's time is just a misunderstood version of the movement. Today, most women's understanding of feminism is only good enough to become the lyrics of a Beyonce song. Actually, I do think that if you haven't suffered the strife of people who kicked off these movements and lived through that struggle, then you can never be a follower. What most people are roaring about can best be categorized as Girl Power rants. We've never had to fight for a right to vote or even drive. Its simple, we just don't live in those times anymore. If you're going to college for education, have openings in a career, then you're there. Everything else that you may face is just a bias. This partiality is often personal and there are possibly many such other biases within a person who discriminates based on gender. Its definitely not a fight.

I'd say women are far more comfortably placed now than men. For women, the careers & the success is as much a convenient decision, as it is a compulsion for our better halves. Women will still be accepted as homemakers, worldwide, but we forget how men are conditioned & expected to be the breadwinners, no matter what. Similarly, whenever a woman exceeds herself in her field, she's lauded as an icon, like its an exceptional success, whereas so many men go unnoticed for their triumphs.

I don't even think that men have come to the realization of how they're conditioned to be the meal-tickets. I can't even imagine how immensely stressful it must be to strive to outdo an entire gender, right? Whether its parents, wives, kids or friends, everyone expects their man to be the Alpha Male. Its also a matter of acceptance. Women are now accepted in every role, unlike men, who still have no choice but to be the heroes. 

In times of casualty, all signs read: "Women & Children" first, like a man is legally & socially expected to demonstrate bravery. Sure, its probably chivalrous, but I think that its a bit biased & taken for granted. Maybe a man would put his own woman & children before him, but I'm not even convinced he should throw himself under a bus for hordes of random women. At the end of a hard day's work, if I board the metro & a man gets there before me, why should he vacate the seat just because I'm a woman? We did the same sort of work. If there's an elderly woman or man, or someone who needs a place, then get up, by all means. I'm not delicate enough to not be able to stand in a train for twenty minutes. Its not like we suffocate in 18th century corsets all day. I'll live.

I'm not saying men need to rise up in arms & revolt. They do fine. I just think that women should shut up about women empowerment. I think women in most countries have a fairly good deal & unless you're being beaten or raped or forced to do wage labour, you shouldn't really use the "feminism" anymore, because that's precisely what our ancestors went through before they made their suffrage committees. No girl, don't be strutting in a mall in six-inch heels, talking about equality. Women's lib shouldn't be adopted from Destiny's Child lyrics.

6 comments:

  1. you are going to get a lot of hate from ladiss for this. but, bravo!

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  2. Just wanted to point out that a part of the concept of feminism is to challenge gender specific roles, which is where the argument re: men comes in. This totally supports the perception of men being caretakers, yet you don't see the men getting adequate support to do that somehow. I wish they could also be free so that they dont have to be heroes all the time. Its just about wanting a society where both genders are free to do what they want. Although I agree that Girl Power is being shouted out and not feminism, I dont think that the fight is over, just maybe the dialogue need to change a bit.

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  3. Finally, I come across something like this. I'll applaud and then get back to my motorcycles, to my aim to ride throughout the country, and to not trying to make any more of an effort to prove myself superior to other men. Isn't there more to life than just procreation?

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  4. Hmmm... it is a pity that men feel victimised by feminism today (not very different from how they felt in days of yore) but I can't help but feel you haven't actually been exposed to 'feminism', but to every-day, run-of-the-mill patriarchy being dressed up in the language of women's empowerment.

    There are of course a lot of feminisms out there, and I am by no means an expert on even one of them. However, as Ikasha pointed out, what you're advocating- a break down of gender roles so that men and women can choose to be 'homemakers'/'breadwinners' or both unconstrained by the norms of society- is in fact the basic aim of feminism.
    Feminism is as much about deconstructing masculinity as it is about empowering women- because hey, you can't have one without the other! Trust me, no feminist wants you (or any one else) to be an alpha male!

    The example you cited, about men being expected to vacate seats for women, is nothing but a product of patriarchy, as it simply reifies conceptions of women being the weaker sex. A feminist would oppose this.

    And, no. Six inch heels fly directly in the face of feminism. They are definitely a part of patriarchal structures of beauty and femininity (heels damage your posture so that your butt and boobs stick out, and make you more vulnerable thanks to lack of balance). This is the kind of performative gender that feminists challenge on a regular basis- so someone strutting around in six inch heels in a mall has not understood feminism: unless of course they enjoy the pain of walking around in such contraptions or if they're men.

    Also, when you say women have equal opportunities these days, I'd ask you to qualify that statement. Upper middle-class women, have a lot of opportunities that men have these days. However in our country alone women from underprivileged backrounds (95% of our society) face huge challenges even in terms of being allowed to live once their sex is discovered. In the most 'developed' countries of the world too, there is a lot of gender-bias and violence against women. Take for example the levels of victim blaming by the press and public figures in America over the recent horrific Stuebenville rape case. So I must ask you not to make sweeping generalizations about the position of women all over the world and belittle their struggles for equality.

    I'd like to sign off by saying that in essence, it seems you and I agree on what we consider equality. However, I'd request you not to confuse patriarchy and it's agenda with feminism. Thanks!

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  5. Hi. This blog is redundant now. Please leave your comment on the same at thediaryofabrat.wordpress.com if you're interested & I'll respond. Thanks for your comment.

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