2011

I suppose it would be right to say that I only write when I'm sort of overwhelmed. This year has been overwhelming to say the least. And this is or isn't a public post but I shall write it because I have an urge to write. Right.

I'll edit out the personal bits but its all going to be in here, implicit or explicit.

This year had shown all the signs of being dramatic on New Years' eve itself. I was sitting at an apartment in Hyderabad with a broken leg & some random college folks when two late-night drunken breakdowns decided to happen. Neither one was me, but then I'm not the dramatic sort. Both were men and both were stories of recent emotional conflicts. I did the most practical thing I could: Switched off my phone & called it a night.

Strangely enough that's been my reaction to most issues issues this year: Switching off & walking away.

I was hobbling around college, groggy on painkillers, trying to not fall asleep during the final exams. The only thing I was kicked about was moving to Bombay in February, for my internship. Bombay was a freaking lightning flash. The quickest, strangest 3.5 months of my life. Initially moved in with my parents friends, quickly realized I couldn't live with forced parenting & proceeded to find myself a place in Big, Bad, Pressed-for-space Bombay. Within one week, I had a swanky PG in Pali Hill, but shifting houses alone with five suitcases brought about my first ever bout of home-sickness. I still remember trudging around Ambedkar Road with my hands full of luggage, trying to get home so I could hit my bed and cry for a little bit. The reason that I'm not fidgety about 'moving out of my parents house' like most people my age is that they're my buddies. I like living with them bros. Unconditional love is a condition of living that we never value enough. I had two best friends in Bombay; one I've known for 14 years and the other for 4 years. I pretty much got through those three months with them and their friends and potloads of round trips to Delhi.

Bombay was also eventful in one other way, that is going to remain concealed. But I'm thoroughly glad for whatever brilliance was bestowed upon me through this association.

I joined college as a senior, finally set with electives of my choice and a position with the Freshers Core Committee. Organizing events is quite kickass and I've been doing such rubbish since the beginning of time. However, post the event, some egos were bruised & there was absolute chaos and a complete dilution of honour and verbal dignity. I've been underground since. There's an issue with fighting people- Upbringings. I will only fight if the opponent has some integrity.

I've also had a fallout with a best friend because of his wonderful girlfriend's insecurities and because we're an egoistic bunch.

I'm also struggling against a CGPA that dipped when I was recuperating from aforementioned bone injuries. Working hard to fix a disastrous mix of missed mid-terms, 25 days of absence and unwell health. The pain of twisting a kneecap till its all the way to the left was reduced by bastard friends who wanted the siren on the ambulance because "feel aayegi". I love you guys.

I don't publicize how much I go out, who I'm with and what I'm doing for dinner. Its my business and I like to keep it so. All of my clandestine matters don't see the day of light but pretty much occur under the noses of everyone. There's still heaps of things in here, this year but they'll remain secrets.

I also just realized its already been almost five years since I know @audrikar (my bestfriend), which re-affirms the fact I'm a grown up person now. Yes, I like to mark time and events with the people in my life.

I love-hate 2011. Its shown me the darkest days of my life yet, but I don't like to regret because everything we go through makes us who we are. And I like myself. So I guess I like you, 2011. Thank you.