12 things to do in 2012

Hello there, once again. Seasons greetings & Happy New Year. I don't do New Year Resolutions because new year resolution makers obviously have flaws. I am, as you all know, perfect. LOLJK.
But no kidding, I have no vices to give up. I don't smoke or drink or eat a gallon of cheesecake a month. However I do have some things I want to do. So I'll make a list. Its a simple list, so you might be bored or you could pick a hobby or two for yourself, for the new year. So, here goes (priority wise):

1. Get a job.

2. Learn to read & write in Gurmukhi.

3. Learn Bellydancing.

4. Get a library membership.

5. Learn to make round rotis.

6. Get married*

7. Travel to New York/ Barcelona

8. Get to MaxMueller & brush up on that rusty Deutsch lesson. Ich habe keine zeit aber ich lerne die sprachen fur sieben jahre. And I couldn't complete that sentence in German, so I'm going to try to do that

9. I draw so I'm going to try & illustrate for each one of my blog posts and actually scan it and put it up

10. Learn to ride a motorcycle

11. Learn to trust

12. Defeat my mom at scrabble

12. Start collecting Tintin comics (*Because no. 6 was a joke)

So there it is. I hope to God that I can do all of this. Its not the most adventurous list of the year but I don't understand the kind of wishes that sound like " I want to elope with an Italian man and a jar of sunshine to the South of France". Really? This isn't a wish list anyway. Its more of a To-Do. So fingers crossed. Have a great new years eve. Don't drink & drive. Kick ass. Love.

100 Years of Awesomeness

I've always wanted to talk about the Delhi vs Mumbai rivalry, but I haven't really & I think today would be a brilliant day to write about this. I've never really been an aggressive Mumbai hater, reserving my comments on the city till I actually knew a little bit about it. This year I got to live in the city for 3.5 months, so now I can write a credible comparison. Here goes.

First off, I find the comparison really absurd because you can't really compare Delhi to other Indian cities anymore. As far as infrastructure and life goes, the recent development in Delhi has quite literally given us the Nitromethane button in the metropolitan city race. Can't touch this. I don't just mean the legendary wide roads and metro, we also have the kick-ass low-floored buses, a huge green cover, better houses, schools and universities.

Secondly, the crowd. I get that you might stereotype and dislike us as the 'tu jaanta nai mera baap kaun hai' again & again at your stand-up comedy routines but really, that makes your cities' crowd no better. No, really. Pyjamas and hawai chappals are no retort for OTT. I understand that maybe we shouldn't wear pearls to Barista but you shouldn't be at parties in boxers. I've seen this and its really not pretty. You guys are the anti-Delhi. Mumbai is a city of lonesome hipsters cradling laptops at tiny cafes feeling very French, but its so not working out, you guys. Meanwhile, Delhi proudly stays true to its rustic Jat/Bhangra soul. And its okay if that's not your type.

Thirdly, Delhi Girls v Bombay Girls: Bombay Girls isn't a thing. Bombay has girls, but there is no concept of 'Bombay Girls'. There's the Mumbai Sea-face. That's a concept. Vada Pao is a concept. Bombay Girls isn't.

Also, food. I could start but then this blogpost would go in to whole another area so lets just not bring up Delhi's gourmet brilliance.

The spirit of Delhi doesn't need to be spoken about because we just take it for granted that Delhiites are sufficiently spirited and spirited, through thick and thin. Whenever I land back home, I get out of the aircraft and my heart does a little "Fuck Yeah. This is awesome" routine.

If you grew up in Delhi, you probably know that what dialogue won't solve, a backhand slap will. It may not be pretty, but its true. Its a legitimate solution and it works. If you grew up in Delhi, you're probably not into theatre but know that we have the best theatre scene in the country. If you grew up in Delhi, you probably know how to rock that backless dress in zero degrees on New Years Eve. If you grew up in Delhi, you're probably quite a freaking rockstar.

When I moved to the hostel, people would tell me "You're from Delhi aren't you? And I'd say "Yes! but how do you know?" One guy said, "Its everything. Its the way you talk. The way you dress. The way you walk."

Yes, we give precedence to our hearts over our heads but then the first 3 letters in Dilli literally translate to heart. You can't blame us.

Taking a hit

I write this post with very many questions on my mind. The first one being: Why does a property like the Taj Banjara, Hyderabad have an open sewer in front of the gates? Also, why don't men commit? Who is Banksy? Why do women want to tag men as their property? How does my straight friend know what a leopard print is? Unfortunately, this blogpost isn't about any of these questions.

This post is an exaggerated extension of my last post: 2011. This post is about 2012, but not my year 2012. General human reactions to the year 2012. Yes, the Mayan prediction about the end of the world and all that jazz. Now this may or not may be true & If it is true, please make sure, dear Mayan bros that its not painful. Quick & easy, like getting sucked into a black hole or some such.

While we can only wait & watch if the cataclysmic, apocalyptic event does occur, I see plenty of reactions like "surely the world is coming to an end" or "Dooms day is near". While I do agree, that the man above has given us plenty reasons to be scared, I'm not sure that its enough to go around screeching "The world is ending". Do not steal the homeless vagabond's thunder like this, people.

This makes me think of why our generation starts to panic every time there's an earthquake or a recession or the last day of Zara sale. Get a grip, "Gen-Y", we will be fine. The human race has a disgustingly high affinity to survival. The problem isn't that we're fragile or easily extinguishable, its just that we haven't known real anguish or disturbance. Cliched, as it sounds, we really are just a Wii-hooked, smartphone tapping bunch of faint-hearted pigeons. We haven't seen wars, famines, hyperinflation or massacres. Worst of all, we take everything for granted. I hope that we don't have to see such times, but the fact remains that we have no understanding of real difficulty. Poor wi-fi connection is enough to make us go over the edge. That is why, every little shake & bump is a premonition of the End. Learn to take a punch. Let your kids get bruised. Get into a fight. Befriend a Punjabi. Do it right.

I'm sitting here on my friend's bed, already thinking of following this up with a bucket list, just incase it will all really fall down. It might. I'm just saying, learn to take it like a man. That statement also proves to me what I've suspected for far too long. I might be a male chauvinistic pig. Who says a woman can only be a feminist right?

Anyway, my friend very cutely demanded I write about her, and there's nothing more exciting than doing that. Thank you lovely, for letting me steal your LAN wire. and your bed. Thank you for telling me when I'm being a bitch and also for not letting it seem like the end of the world. Thank you for having faith in me, when I've quite literally had none in myself. Yes, I'm referring to last night. I'm going to see it through 2062 with you. My babies will terrorize the pants off yours.

2011

I suppose it would be right to say that I only write when I'm sort of overwhelmed. This year has been overwhelming to say the least. And this is or isn't a public post but I shall write it because I have an urge to write. Right.

I'll edit out the personal bits but its all going to be in here, implicit or explicit.

This year had shown all the signs of being dramatic on New Years' eve itself. I was sitting at an apartment in Hyderabad with a broken leg & some random college folks when two late-night drunken breakdowns decided to happen. Neither one was me, but then I'm not the dramatic sort. Both were men and both were stories of recent emotional conflicts. I did the most practical thing I could: Switched off my phone & called it a night.

Strangely enough that's been my reaction to most issues issues this year: Switching off & walking away.

I was hobbling around college, groggy on painkillers, trying to not fall asleep during the final exams. The only thing I was kicked about was moving to Bombay in February, for my internship. Bombay was a freaking lightning flash. The quickest, strangest 3.5 months of my life. Initially moved in with my parents friends, quickly realized I couldn't live with forced parenting & proceeded to find myself a place in Big, Bad, Pressed-for-space Bombay. Within one week, I had a swanky PG in Pali Hill, but shifting houses alone with five suitcases brought about my first ever bout of home-sickness. I still remember trudging around Ambedkar Road with my hands full of luggage, trying to get home so I could hit my bed and cry for a little bit. The reason that I'm not fidgety about 'moving out of my parents house' like most people my age is that they're my buddies. I like living with them bros. Unconditional love is a condition of living that we never value enough. I had two best friends in Bombay; one I've known for 14 years and the other for 4 years. I pretty much got through those three months with them and their friends and potloads of round trips to Delhi.

Bombay was also eventful in one other way, that is going to remain concealed. But I'm thoroughly glad for whatever brilliance was bestowed upon me through this association.

I joined college as a senior, finally set with electives of my choice and a position with the Freshers Core Committee. Organizing events is quite kickass and I've been doing such rubbish since the beginning of time. However, post the event, some egos were bruised & there was absolute chaos and a complete dilution of honour and verbal dignity. I've been underground since. There's an issue with fighting people- Upbringings. I will only fight if the opponent has some integrity.

I've also had a fallout with a best friend because of his wonderful girlfriend's insecurities and because we're an egoistic bunch.

I'm also struggling against a CGPA that dipped when I was recuperating from aforementioned bone injuries. Working hard to fix a disastrous mix of missed mid-terms, 25 days of absence and unwell health. The pain of twisting a kneecap till its all the way to the left was reduced by bastard friends who wanted the siren on the ambulance because "feel aayegi". I love you guys.

I don't publicize how much I go out, who I'm with and what I'm doing for dinner. Its my business and I like to keep it so. All of my clandestine matters don't see the day of light but pretty much occur under the noses of everyone. There's still heaps of things in here, this year but they'll remain secrets.

I also just realized its already been almost five years since I know @audrikar (my bestfriend), which re-affirms the fact I'm a grown up person now. Yes, I like to mark time and events with the people in my life.

I love-hate 2011. Its shown me the darkest days of my life yet, but I don't like to regret because everything we go through makes us who we are. And I like myself. So I guess I like you, 2011. Thank you.

IN SUPPORT OF AN(N)YONE

This entire Anna Hazare episode has clogged my BBM status, facebook home page and twitter timeline.

One week ago, it looked something like this:

@randomfool: Whoa. Anna is so awesome.

@randomdouche: Uff. Can you stop it with Anna already? I wanna watch MTV Grind

Today:

@randomfail: Anna needs to stop harassing our nation.

@randomdaft: Kiran Bedi Haaye Haaye!

Meanwhile, I havent posted jack on the entire movement because when 100,000 people are taking to the streets, who am I to sit on a leather recliner and tweet from a smartphone. I dont want to dismiss these marches as herd mentality because these kind of struggles also won us the RTI amendments and the Jessica Lall verdict.

I do not support the Jan Lok Pal bill, FYI. I do however appreciate a movement against corruption and against the government.

Anna Hazare isnt holding the nation to ransom. Nobody's forcing these kids to come to the Ramlila grounds and nobody's telling you to watch the news and then crib about how he's overtaken the media.

Yes, this is a highly political movement but it is childish to expect any movement, anywhere in the world, at any point of time in history to be devoid of political overtones. All I'm glad for is that someone is putting the government under pressure.

Why shouldnt the government squirm and squeal under public attack? Why shouldnt they be running for cover?

The privileged may claim that they dont pay bribes but we still have access to VIP benefits, contacts and general luxuries. I havent seen any of you stand at passport offices and RTO's for days without response. I havent seen you tweet about water shortage and electricity failure. We aren't really India. We're the spectators because we dont suffer.

It is easy to hail USA and European countries as settled and sorted leaders but give scathing looks to our own when they jam the roads with candle light vigils. Have you seen the public involvement in above mentioned countries on matters of public interest? These people make the government accountable and active.

I dont think we understand what we have just witnessed. Its not about supporting or condemning 'anshan' or childish methods, its about making an impact. Its about storming the headlines and creating awareness.

Next election, you will not forget the scams and scandals. Public memory will not be shortlived.

Politics has been played with politicians. Perhaps even dirty politics.

I am glad.